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here [Sep. 12th, 2004|02:07 pm]
pandajuli
i need deadlines- thats what i need. And since this is more astrias idea than mine i figure shell come up with that for me- a plan i have to stick to. I need to also start making proper outlines and character anaylsises. if thats even right- god- im slightly better since last post sooo- i decided to tell you all what ill be posting:
Astria came up with this idea for a story that we would write together- which means atleast half of it wont correlate and will suck- but ive been trying to get her to help me out with something for a while soooo.....i guess its all good. Right the idea:
Its about these two girls, can we guess who those will be? I think im going to write my part in an outside source form. Because i do tend to write more toward my way of thinking and so since i know the way of thinking of the other characters here just as well as my own i figure ill write as them. So the basic theme is relationships- like what would happen if people got what they thought they wanted...such as Girl A has been madly in love with Boy B for like a year or so they've had a rocky relationship and hes currently dating Girl C- so they break up and he announces his love for Girl A and they get together and its supposed to be happily ever after- right? but classicly it wont be- but shes not going to like fall for boy D the dork-boy next door. The one that was right under her nose the whole time but she ignored or anything like that. Actually boy B cheats on her and she goes to girl B who is in a relationship with Boy C and boy C is not what she wanted blah blh blah- so girl a and girl b are all dellema-d out in a classic highschool girl way and sooooo girl a finds her lobster in boy E and blah blah blah is soo sappy its kind of sick. but thats just an outline i figure that girl a and boy bs relationship will end up being a very interesting point in the story especially is told from his point of view. the problem is not changing too much of the base of the characters. like boy e who isnt a real relationship type but is still really into girl a and blah blah blah, oh well ill figure it out and start posting stuff on it.
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Anger issues [Sep. 12th, 2004|01:54 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |angryangry]
[Current Music |Brand New Colony- the postal service]

Shit im so mad im crying that cant be a good sign. And what sent me over the top? A book- a stupid story didnt end the way i wanted it to and im fucking crying- how sick is that? No no no its just not right- lucian and issac should have been together- and ethan and bren but no! god fucking shit- its sooo severely uncool. I'm listening to The postal service its keeping me relatively calm- i really shouldnt be so upset. I shouldnt go reading endings either cause that really sucked- i was sooo psyched and now i just want to go kill myself im so depressed that it didnt turn out my way. how weird. I think its because im usually really good about guessing endings and stuff- no i dont know what its about. I've just been soo pissed lately. god. Im supposed to be writing this story was my inspiration and now- now im just so damn angry. i really really want to hurt somebody. Really. I'm like on the end of my rope- i dont know why the stupidest things are driving me crazy im afraid im going to do something soon- like start wailing on someone- could you imagine?i really want to do so- i really really want to just punch someone in the face- i think i have a little overflow of pent up rage in me- this isnt good i have to go- shit and i have to talk to issac tomorrow i hope he doesnt say anything stupid....GRRR asshole writers!!! i hate writers- they all suck- we all suck. damn it. grrr maybe ill start posting up the writing im supposed to be working on- i have to finish reading the story- i know- but im sooo mad. shit! god damn it...im irrational. ive got to go- bastards!!!
love
Hope
P.s. Elliot smiths last cd he made before he killed himself is coming out in october i believe- if anyone wants to i would love to get it as a present.
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Learn new things everyday [Sep. 5th, 2004|12:42 am]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |blankblank]
[Current Music |AFI- Girls not grey (he likes Air you know)]

Wow i did not give davey havoc nearly enough credit as a person- read something of his, something he wrote- and now i fully support him, his band, and his music. I love him. Of course not as much as darling dear J.Casablancas- but meh- i am more towards j.casablancas' music stylings than afi- really, although i sadly must admit its growing on me- hopefully a phase- then again i could be transforming- getting older and growing into a new wave of revelation in musical taste- me new ideas: All music is good, all deserves a fair chance- or atleast not to be banged on by some bonehead that wants to be difficult- with exceptions of course of things that suck and cannot be classified as music at all...so- this would allow wading room for trends and highlights that are bound to pass. then again why would i make something up just to justify myself? seems like im trying to cover up for something if you ask me, perhaps a growing affection for avril lavigne? NEVER!!! ahg! today hauled ass out of a store in the mall as Ashlee Simpson began to play- screaming, "ashlee simpson ashlee simpson" to be caught by joe and asked what was going on and to reply with, "they started playing ashlee simpson" why this isnt stupid: I've had enough of ehr, honestly, i dont like it, its not good, not cool, its bullshit that once again the media is trying to market as real rock music. Like their stupid little thing of Avril Lavigne and their trying to market president bush as a lving competant christian man. its all a crock. But back to Davey Havoc, my newest obsession- i wonder- do they go up to his moms house and say, "hello mrs Havoc, can davey come out to play?" did they ever? hmmm- silly question i suppose- today i find myself putting more of my vocabulaire to use- bravo. Did you all know im taking french? have you been informed? well consider yourself such, not that that is something vital, some supreme peice of knowledge you've all be dying to know, but then again, is anything really on here? who reads this anyway? Chris and Yinnia, Kathy, who i believe is now hands off on davey cause she already has the other AFI guy! ahaha!!! Besides Davey likes Morrisey and The Smiths- how bad ass is that? Im telling you did not give him enough credit as a person- before he was just a pretty vampiric face, now- pretty face with immense mental powers of corruption driving me towards him as he spews nonsense in a normal person fashion. Maybe i expect too much of punks- ive been around posers for so long, maybe real punks are like davey- they go to art shows- go see caberet the musical sensation! hahaha, brilliant beyond brilliant Alan Cumming is in Caberet! I'm smitten, to say the least- which makes things ever more difficult, Davey- Julian- and Johnny. damn. AIR too- Astria doesnt listen to a bit of air- hahahaha I am superior!!! i really like the new car commercial song- i still have yet to find out who sings that dentyne ice commercial- which is aband id really like to get into- commercials are the epitimy of musical genius. I think. I probably worded that wrong- oh well...what can you expect from an underprivledged struggling teen? I hate Gabriella. I just needed to throw that out- i dont care who feels sorry for her or any bullshit like such i hate her right now- more than anything- shes fucking up my life- well not more than anything because i truely love her- not like valerie- valerie i hate with a passion, Gabby, im just slightly miffed. AIR!!! super passion punk Davey Havoc jamming to air- whod have figured....hmmm...i love him so.INXS is good too. then again some people might say otherwise. I think i shouldnt care so much- i care a little too much right now. I'm not exactly sure why. AIR!!! and the smiths- holy freakin morrisey he likes the smiths- its spectacular on so many levels how i misjudge some people. Julian likes alot of that stuff too- he likes built to spill- nikolai has seen them play i think- i am as of yet undefined- not dedicated to a single thing. Nothing in life matters to me much more than the rest- well perhaps action more than education but that just makes me a stupid git. I mean I dotn have a passion that drives me- i dont really care all that much about anything more than getting to where i know im going to get. Does that make anysort of sense? I have to be better than you- thats what i mean. Its the stupidest thing ive said in a while- but its the truth. I have to be better than you- thats all that matters- being the best. But i dont know or really care to figure out how to get there. I havent got that drive and dedication to anything really, it comes and goes- which is begining to bother me. Why dont i care? Why cant i stick with anything? What is my passion? This all seems a little to philosophic-falsedepth-ifying for a livejournal post- but it bothers me and im writing it here now so- bah. okay Julians passion was his band- that and fucking over his father im sure- ive got the fucking over people thing- i totally relate there- thats something ill aim for- but....davey havoc- his passion is the music too- punk revival keeping it real- whatever...I think that might be it- im seriously lacking on what real is for me. I know what i am- in a sense that i know that i am me, but i like to fuck around with what i am do and believe in alot so im not so clear on what that is really....i know what i want to be- i know what i will be. But what i am now is seriously lacking in definition. I could end up like hitler if i dont sort this stuff out- i know this guy his passion is politics. Its the weirdest thing- knows alot- does alot- hes a pot head. Hes an activist- hes so fucking cool id want to be him if not for the fact that i couldnt give a shit about politics. Mainly because i dont believe its real anymore- its a big falsification to make everyone feel like their a part of some democracy that is slowly fading out of existance- though no one seems to be catching on. well not the majority. Stupid people- follow a christian cause hes against gays and abortion. assholes. They dont know what their talking about- theres that thing too- the passion in religion or rather prejudice against others- i could do that- but i dont like being hipocritical and try to stray from it as often as i can and so becoming a part of a major religion would throw me right into hypocricy. not to mention i dont like to impose political or lifestyle views upon others- some of it because people blow me off as a stupid teenager (which i am) and also because it annoys me to see other people do it so i dont feel like it would be right to do so- like that meat is murder shit- do you know where a cow would go if it wasnt in a farm? The wild- eating grass and getting "murdered" by other animals- it will be eaten in some way shape or form and it will be brutal. thats general how it goes in the consumption of living things- one creature tears another to shreds using sharp- angry painful teeth that will prolong the suffering just as much as anything the farmers do. and really it could only be canibalism- because when someone murders someone else for the purpose of consumption- what is it called people, canibalism! so meat is canibalism. why not call it that- they're not our species, right? well we're all animals so if you want to define it as something wicked and evil define it in a better sense- murder would be more like furtrade- i could see the point in that- i mean do dogs keep dear heads mounted in their little homes? no. so thats not a basic animal thing- so that is wrong. thats not something that would occur normally. thats bad. except i guess its not so much for leather if you eat the cow and use all its parts its kind of under that native american thing where you do not disrespect the animal by wasting it- you use every part and thank it for its sacrifice. That was a cool thing to do- people should do that now, why do people always pray to god before meals, why not to the animal that died? to the food that was killed and put on a platter before you? so disrespectful to their spirits. anyway i went of track- my thing was passion, right? im no fashion crazed woman- thats for sure- so no real thing there- i do like design but- im not passionate about it. I mean im focusing more on writing- by doing research and trying to become more professional, but i dont think thats enough. I feel- empty now. Lacking, i need something that im passionate about besides things that cannot be defined- like love, and destiny. thats all i really go to- perhaps my thing is to never be defined? perhaps i cannot settle? i think i can do with that- it bothers me though. but i guess i could do with it. no- i dont know. i guess im doing it now- continuing with my scattered nature. i hate myself sometimes- i will find something to drive me- i will. damn it- i wont. oh well...davey havoc is beautiful. i know- men. thats kind of whorish tho- men as a passion? hmm- i guess those undefinable words must do then- love and destiny- how cliche. i feel like such a jackass. im leaving now this is a long enough post to last for a while.
Love
Hope
P.S. If i dont really know how to place myself, does that mean that im being true to myself or false? Is it a falsification if im following things arbitrarily? maybe i should quit the whole looking within thing- it seems to be driving me crazy, noi?
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wondering [Sep. 1st, 2004|08:44 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[Current Music |The strokes- my inspiration in my plans]

at this point i am wondering why exactically i never got issac. Marco said it was because im a bad dresser- to which i reply- feh. but no really, i mean for some reason i really really want him this year- a silly highschool girl thing to say obviously- but nevertheless i am after her- him...hehe he is very pretty....anyway....i usually get who i want after all- at least for a time- so why cant i get Issac? hmmm...Yinnia you know little izzy perhaps you could help out with that. Or- uhm i mean annonymous you know little izzy....blahblahblah blahblah. Secondly i need a car- if someone would like to donate a car- then that would be terrific- i also need a job- working on that. Kind of. I also realized that i am supposed to- as i am carrying so many books- be a good student and do my homework- which i am not doing- which is bad. hey the sarah jessica parker commercial is on- i like how she dresses in it. I would like to dress as such. ive lost weight too- how dismal i know- how teenage i know- but i am after all a teenager and i suppose ive got to let out these teenage expressions somewhere....anywho i was saying- im carrying so many freaking books and doing virtually no work- what sense does that make really? hmm btw for all of you that dont know gave the name Angelus to a friend of mine- it is now an all male band- hahaha...interesting noi? noi. anywho- i want some salems- why? the package has always made me happy. and so i would like to support the package- even though i have until recently been a devout camel smoker- mainly because chris and jew were such. And marco on occasion- though mainly chris- oh inam as well- and jew and alan...who by the way offered to take me to prom- hahaha...how interesting. i declined- i have other people in mind- julian casablancas- though it is farfetched- and i have real people in mind as well. i wonder how is it that cela gets so many boyfriends and gets them to buy her stuff as well...hmmm- my thoughts seem too random right now- thats not good ill come back later when things are more clear. Micheal Rosenbaum is pretty....issac is pretty. damn issac. he caught me smoking yesterday...damn him. thinks im some kind of wanna be badgirl. grrrr...atleast i think he thinks- he might not- ive never quite effectively communticated with issac...oh man- i really want him- must devise plan- maybe modest mouse chick can help...oh no- i shouldnt get help. oh man...must devise plan- yes this is my new project- i shall call it: Operation OneDay. or is it One A DAY? hahahhaaha...that was such a sad move on their part. after vitamins....really...how dumb. but so pretty. right right- focus- must make plan- shall do so now.
Love
Hope
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hmmm- faker? [Aug. 30th, 2004|08:33 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |blankblank]
[Current Music |Steriogram- Walkie Talkie Man (so upbeat)]

Look- Yinnia, Chris, who ever i will not tailor to your demands- why because i dont see you anymore so whay should i? Exactly....and as for the little comment on faker- ill let that slide. Anyway- it seems the trend of the year is people getting fat...and looking stupid. I'm doing both, probably...as is dadadadun- Fredo!!!! saw him today after school- hes gained quite a bit of weight, not to mention that earing- or perhaps that was always there- well it upsets me either way...its very....uhm...queer...even for me. because apparently i am as well. however i really see no merit in this- its such a- oh well never mind, i dont feel like arguing it. and my fellow third partiers say fuck off to the people that challenge me..hahaha...how sad. hmm...maybe i am fake what a question of internal turmoil that could bring- uncover dirty secrets i didnt even want to know about myself- my whole life revealed as a lie- but ive gone over the philosoph interogation- the virtual spanish inquisition within...hmmm- what an awkward statement almost as if im hiding something- which very well could be- but who knows if not me- certainly not a crack pot- and especially not you chris or you yinnia- you dont really even know yourselves...or perhaps you do- its all up to interpretation...anyway im doing research for a writing projecT!!! taha!!! how professional of me- i still think itll all be rather sub-par but- ahwell....i heard for a while that marco had cornrows- was disappointed in him completely- but saw him today- he did not...hmmm....you know who should grow? Julian- hed be such a cutie if he just grew up both mentally and physically....well im tired of this now- and hadnt much to say to begin with soooooo...lalalala....
goodbye-
love
hope
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The thinks that urk me now [Aug. 14th, 2004|10:53 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |POOFY- magnificently so]
[Current Music |Watching Silver and Cold Music Video- AFI fame-why not jump?]

Okay Im hanging out at home when i just thought of how much sex fucking scares me- its just a very weird thing you know, laying down and letting someone shove something repeatedly into a little hole in your body....but then again i suppose child birth is much worse as its the exact opposite but something much larger....So I'm here with my sister's cat just hanging out and reading shit and I was thinking earlier which lead me to this note I'm about to make to my darling Astria- and no it is not an offer of sex i have not hit that point of such desperation to get laid- no offense... it is however a proposition....
Darling I will let you have any four of the people on my list if you give me the entire band of AFI- this list thing is obviously excluding johnny depp and julian casablancas- cause johnny was a christmas present from you if you'll remember and j-casablancas just stays with me- thats just how it is....but any other four- even david bowie!!! Alan cumming!!! As long as i get the complete band AFI... which leads me to my next point...
I now believe there is only one reason anyone likes aFI and that is because the lead singer is completely desperately gorgeous- so much that its painful. My proof of this:
1. Astria likes AFI and we all know that is just because of that....
2. Dave likes AFI- obviously the attraction
3. I believe Marco liked aFI i might be wrong but it seems like the crap he used to listen to- cant completely remember now- and sure it could be just that he likes the music- but come on the music isnt that great.
4. I like AFI- sure the music can appeal to my sad little moodswings and angsty teenageness but in my heart i know its wrong- I just like to look at him- hes so beautiful a dark and sinister beauty like a vampire or something which both Astria and I agree on- ahhhhh....so pretty....
5. Neko likes AFI- once again its just a thought but neko likes alot of stupid shit like that- however i think she might actually seriously like them for their musical talent- why do i say this? cause shes a real dumb fuck with no taste in music what so ever- not to be mean....but she is. She likes alot of bands that sound like shit but havent got one good looking bloke in the lot- so....this actually counts against my theory or perhaps for- you can take your pick.
2. of the things that- holy shit it came on!!! HAHAHA!!! The episode of angel where spike says all that shit thats always been hilarrious to me- ah all it well.... oh right number two- Reasons Good Charlotte is a poser band-
A. The leadsinger- who is like thirty- is dating hillary duff- who is 16, just turned so I hear, and why is this disgusting, if you dont know i cant help you. It is hillary duff..if you're going to date someone who will ruin your reputation atleast date a skank or an older pop-diva wanna be skank- like britney or christina or mariah carey- no one pays any attention to mariah carey any more- lead singer of good charlotte- go to her- please- she needs the help.
3. Reasons I hate the band AFI-
Theres only one really- because obviously i couldnt hate the band of man id gladly fuck- and that one thing is:
Their music video- silver and cold, drives me insane....look the guy obviously wasnt serious about that suicide jumping thing- and if so why call his friendS? Why spend a whole fucking song on the edge of a bridge pretending you're going to kill yourself and just sing the entire time while dropping little things into the water? What are you taking the shit off to drop in the water for? Arent you supposed to go in soon enough? Are you testing it? For what? To see how far your falling- far enough - to see how deep? well if the watch is sticking out or the ring dive in head first then you'll be knocked out and youll drown anyway- but darling it was a really jack ass thing of you to do- however beautiful you may have looked- to -aahhh seth green also very cute and also on my list astria!!! take him now and three more and i get afi!!!- anywho- back to my ranting- it was a really jackass thing of him to stand there singing for that whole time and then not go through with it after his friends explode and burn in a rush to get to him. The least he could have done was jumped- but noooo...and what the hell why did only their car catch fire? Why did they go a big kablooey and the other car not? its not really nice or fair or cool- it just irks me. He sang!!! spent the entire time singing- and taking off his clothes and then just jumps right back onto the pavement- and you knew after he took off his jacket that he wasnt serious he was just being a whiney bitch and thats just wrong...why a whiny bitch? because what the hell does he need the jacket to stay up there for? He's commiting suicide!!! hes never going to wear it again- its not going to be ruined for your next big engagement cause your dead!!! water marks and such wont fucking matter cause you're dead!! DEAD!!!! if its ruined its ruined- on you- while you are sunk in the water having died- so you see it wont matter much at all- but taking it off just proves your being over dramitic- and your friends died in a bloody horrible car crash!!! theres fire!!! Fire of hell burning just off the side and you dont even turn to look- what the hell?!!!! you turn, look, realize your band mates are dead- and jump....but he does nothing!!! nothing!!! there is a huge explosion and fire and he doesnt even pay attention!!! its just a stupid music video makes no sense and really really irritates me....dont pretend you're going to kill yourself if you really arent...this is my advice to thousands of stupid teenagers out there- why? because it pisses off your mates- it pisses off your parents and its a jackass thing to do for attention....I know several people who really were going to- several people who werent even going for that- and i was one of those who wasnt even going for that- but if you do it just for a little attention thats just being an asshole- because people could wind up dead- as you can see- on their way to save your life that never needed saving to begin with....
okay im done with that now and want to watch seth green and james- soooooo...tata
love,
Hope
PS deeply appologetic for the ranting bu I've got to go off and get some of that nancy boy hair gel i like- so much....Now I'm off like a magnificent poof!!!!
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Fuckin Dikes!(to be said as a trolley) [Aug. 11th, 2004|05:23 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |very homosexual]
[Current Music |Very Homosexual]

I think I'm becoming more effeminate in my choices of clothing...im more attracted to pumps now. I mean I still like the male rocker style, but slowly Astria is creeping in tweed pumps and knee-high boots. Actually im completely accepting the shoe fetish, its the prom dresses that really scared me- why? Mainly because i didnt look good in them...why? because im getting fat. I actually wanted to go shopping around montrose- cause they have some really cute stuff there- i think that 70s shop is near there- not to mention other things...I think im going to become a slut. I need to figure out how to pick up people while they are at their jobs- because waiting around would be stalkery- and i already am stalking one person- though not in a litteral sense- so i dont want to stalk a real person cause that would be bad...but theres this checker-guy/girl depending on what you want him to be because apparently some people say i give off this totally gay vibe and im not going to dispute it....so hes at the registar- beautiful long black hair looks kind of like edward furlong but a little skinnier and with afi guys hair- very dreamy....but i dont know how to approach- which is a bother because i really want him. Astria and I are looking for fuck buddies and im hoping he's not taken....sigh- well im out for now cause this was a very stupid post perhaps to stir up some shit in the next one....
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The Pumpkins are my Enemy [Aug. 8th, 2004|08:11 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |amusedamused]
[Current Music |the theme of the heart of a mongoose]

What happened today dear loves? Well for me- I saw Inam walking towards Foodarama earlier today- twas hi-larrious
Not in a cocky evil arrogant sense- but just in a sense that I'm seeing people i know- which is always weird
I saw Bonnie and Bonnies-little-brother today. Him before her. Infact he pointed me out when his sister arrived and she and this older chap looked at me as if i had parts of my face peeling off- or like a long gross booger hanging on me- which being me i probably did- or looked equally as foul. Ta. how sad. I swear Bonnie looked at me with such distain- shes probably heard the stories- Ryan was rather awkward- maybe hes cared of me- maybe hes heard something- i hear alot of people fear me- i dont know why- its such an odd thing to consider- people being scared of me- probably heard the stories- if i heard the stories im sure id fear me too. Oh well- so saw him- was fun hes growing up nicely- very cute- unfortunately not at all touchable being bonnies little brother- and my and bonnie obviously not getting along- and being that hes younger than me and my mates which as we found with julian is a huge problem. no j casablancas- but julian the small one. Tried on prom dresses too- looked aweful- well in the size five- alright in size 3 but still sucked- i think i might go to my prom as julian casablancas- hair cut and dressed in a tux- except i did want to fix myself up- fuck- i look girlier in guys clothes anywho- maybe it was just the point in time i tried them- maybe itll be better later. meh. And it is getting boring here- so i think ill go hunting- hahaha. what a croc. hahaha meh im leaving gotta convince people to buy me shoes- need shoes- must have- want now. love all
hope
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Are set for school arent we? Nkuck nuck [Aug. 6th, 2004|09:10 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |sickness]
[Current Music |That Great Love Sound]

Anywho- I went to the mall tha all of the mall and got new shoes- they didnt have the high top roos- which i found are actually called kangaroos- how cool- and i dont like low tops- not really- so my mother finally persuaded me to buy the shoes of wanna be rockers and trendies everywhere- chuck taylors- Julian Casablancas would be proud....Wow I'm posting on this more- yay for you. Or me- whatever. Maybe its because I havent got anymore ideas to drain into my book- bloody crap that is- its all such a mess- my nephew is staying ere today- and then my sister and i go tomorrow to some odd thing- filming i think, hoorah? Astria and I have decided that we rather like young rupert grint now that hes sporting the jolly old stoner look- and I have personally decided that Jeremy sumpter is never to cut his hair again- he looks dredful- aussies- when will they learn? well that was rather offensive wasnt it? Meh, like i said got new chucks- fuck it all- but they are alright- theyre the black with script on it- got some opaque tights to go with them- which is very good- I think its the fact of my mother and i fighting that has brought down my work level. sigh. and then lestat will be gone soon- not dead- but sent to live with joe for a while- how dreadful, only until i move out tho- so good for me...I've decided this is boring even me so fuck it all im not speaking to you anymore- I'm going to go dream up things and interview myself- a stupider way of talking to ones self incase you were wondering-
Love
Hope
P.S. see Astria i can write a post with out baraging your barages (<--boobies)
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sickness [Aug. 6th, 2004|02:31 pm]
pandajuli
[Current Mood |meh]
[Current Music |I believe in a thing called love]

Fuck- I just got bitched at because my mom thinks i look like shit on a steady basis- So I'm not feeling all too happy, but we are going out to shop so i guess thats a little better- Going to get shoes. YAY. Kangaroos- the best shoes in the world- why? I dunno- my mother decided its because i like being known as the crazy weirdo and so i try to get the wrong kind of attention by wearing weird stuff....Crap it all. I feel really dumb writing this particular post because it dont think it sounds very much like regular me- but I blame this on the little kids whos writings i have been reading....Its not my fault if it should rub off on me....well i guess it is. Either way Yinnia tried to IM me earlier- which was incredibly frightening because i had all about forgotten they existed. Kind of. I pretty much figured they all got hit by buses- in the imortal words of Chris- and died. Well obviously I knew somepeople were still alive but I didnt put too much thought into that. Like Jew- i hear hes about and spends his days talking to celina. I hear that sadly he is a bum with no job or hopes of getting one. Maybe I should be glad we broke up then? Dodged a bullet- either way it was really weird hearing mention of him at all and I only got it out of astria who called him roger and I'm like, "Wtf did you call him? Roger!!! hahahaha!!! Roger!!! Thats sad." I dont know why it humors me but the thought of Jew as a roger its just funny. Its so stupid. Roger. hahaha. Its kind of like calling a monkey Sir Reginald Wearfeth the Third. And giving him a cane and a monocle. Maybe you dont get it. oh well. I also heard that Spam and Mike have been to the movies recently, but seperately, both with their own dates, a man on each arm they say. Which is another hilarity and I am glad I skipped out on that trip because I really dont know what would have happened had I actually seen them there. It would have been horrific I'm sure- not like seeing Gabby after a long time- which stirred up sad longing emotions- though none sexual- thank god- it probably would have ended in yelling. If they brought it up that we knew each other. But ah I must go...I miss my cds but see no sight of ever retrieving them. Fuck it all...
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