|Learn new things everyday
||[Sep. 5th, 2004|12:42 am]
|||||AFI- Girls not grey (he likes Air you know)||]|
Wow i did not give davey havoc nearly enough credit as a person- read something of his, something he wrote- and now i fully support him, his band, and his music. I love him. Of course not as much as darling dear J.Casablancas- but meh- i am more towards j.casablancas' music stylings than afi- really, although i sadly must admit its growing on me- hopefully a phase- then again i could be transforming- getting older and growing into a new wave of revelation in musical taste- me new ideas: All music is good, all deserves a fair chance- or atleast not to be banged on by some bonehead that wants to be difficult- with exceptions of course of things that suck and cannot be classified as music at all...so- this would allow wading room for trends and highlights that are bound to pass. then again why would i make something up just to justify myself? seems like im trying to cover up for something if you ask me, perhaps a growing affection for avril lavigne? NEVER!!! ahg! today hauled ass out of a store in the mall as Ashlee Simpson began to play- screaming, "ashlee simpson ashlee simpson" to be caught by joe and asked what was going on and to reply with, "they started playing ashlee simpson" why this isnt stupid: I've had enough of ehr, honestly, i dont like it, its not good, not cool, its bullshit that once again the media is trying to market as real rock music. Like their stupid little thing of Avril Lavigne and their trying to market president bush as a lving competant christian man. its all a crock. But back to Davey Havoc, my newest obsession- i wonder- do they go up to his moms house and say, "hello mrs Havoc, can davey come out to play?" did they ever? hmmm- silly question i suppose- today i find myself putting more of my vocabulaire to use- bravo. Did you all know im taking french? have you been informed? well consider yourself such, not that that is something vital, some supreme peice of knowledge you've all be dying to know, but then again, is anything really on here? who reads this anyway? Chris and Yinnia, Kathy, who i believe is now hands off on davey cause she already has the other AFI guy! ahaha!!! Besides Davey likes Morrisey and The Smiths- how bad ass is that? Im telling you did not give him enough credit as a person- before he was just a pretty vampiric face, now- pretty face with immense mental powers of corruption driving me towards him as he spews nonsense in a normal person fashion. Maybe i expect too much of punks- ive been around posers for so long, maybe real punks are like davey- they go to art shows- go see caberet the musical sensation! hahaha, brilliant beyond brilliant Alan Cumming is in Caberet! I'm smitten, to say the least- which makes things ever more difficult, Davey- Julian- and Johnny. damn. AIR too- Astria doesnt listen to a bit of air- hahahaha I am superior!!! i really like the new car commercial song- i still have yet to find out who sings that dentyne ice commercial- which is aband id really like to get into- commercials are the epitimy of musical genius. I think. I probably worded that wrong- oh well...what can you expect from an underprivledged struggling teen? I hate Gabriella. I just needed to throw that out- i dont care who feels sorry for her or any bullshit like such i hate her right now- more than anything- shes fucking up my life- well not more than anything because i truely love her- not like valerie- valerie i hate with a passion, Gabby, im just slightly miffed. AIR!!! super passion punk Davey Havoc jamming to air- whod have figured....hmmm...i love him so.INXS is good too. then again some people might say otherwise. I think i shouldnt care so much- i care a little too much right now. I'm not exactly sure why. AIR!!! and the smiths- holy freakin morrisey he likes the smiths- its spectacular on so many levels how i misjudge some people. Julian likes alot of that stuff too- he likes built to spill- nikolai has seen them play i think- i am as of yet undefined- not dedicated to a single thing. Nothing in life matters to me much more than the rest- well perhaps action more than education but that just makes me a stupid git. I mean I dotn have a passion that drives me- i dont really care all that much about anything more than getting to where i know im going to get. Does that make anysort of sense? I have to be better than you- thats what i mean. Its the stupidest thing ive said in a while- but its the truth. I have to be better than you- thats all that matters- being the best. But i dont know or really care to figure out how to get there. I havent got that drive and dedication to anything really, it comes and goes- which is begining to bother me. Why dont i care? Why cant i stick with anything? What is my passion? This all seems a little to philosophic-falsedepth-ifying for a livejournal post- but it bothers me and im writing it here now so- bah. okay Julians passion was his band- that and fucking over his father im sure- ive got the fucking over people thing- i totally relate there- thats something ill aim for- but....davey havoc- his passion is the music too- punk revival keeping it real- whatever...I think that might be it- im seriously lacking on what real is for me. I know what i am- in a sense that i know that i am me, but i like to fuck around with what i am do and believe in alot so im not so clear on what that is really....i know what i want to be- i know what i will be. But what i am now is seriously lacking in definition. I could end up like hitler if i dont sort this stuff out- i know this guy his passion is politics. Its the weirdest thing- knows alot- does alot- hes a pot head. Hes an activist- hes so fucking cool id want to be him if not for the fact that i couldnt give a shit about politics. Mainly because i dont believe its real anymore- its a big falsification to make everyone feel like their a part of some democracy that is slowly fading out of existance- though no one seems to be catching on. well not the majority. Stupid people- follow a christian cause hes against gays and abortion. assholes. They dont know what their talking about- theres that thing too- the passion in religion or rather prejudice against others- i could do that- but i dont like being hipocritical and try to stray from it as often as i can and so becoming a part of a major religion would throw me right into hypocricy. not to mention i dont like to impose political or lifestyle views upon others- some of it because people blow me off as a stupid teenager (which i am) and also because it annoys me to see other people do it so i dont feel like it would be right to do so- like that meat is murder shit- do you know where a cow would go if it wasnt in a farm? The wild- eating grass and getting "murdered" by other animals- it will be eaten in some way shape or form and it will be brutal. thats general how it goes in the consumption of living things- one creature tears another to shreds using sharp- angry painful teeth that will prolong the suffering just as much as anything the farmers do. and really it could only be canibalism- because when someone murders someone else for the purpose of consumption- what is it called people, canibalism! so meat is canibalism. why not call it that- they're not our species, right? well we're all animals so if you want to define it as something wicked and evil define it in a better sense- murder would be more like furtrade- i could see the point in that- i mean do dogs keep dear heads mounted in their little homes? no. so thats not a basic animal thing- so that is wrong. thats not something that would occur normally. thats bad. except i guess its not so much for leather if you eat the cow and use all its parts its kind of under that native american thing where you do not disrespect the animal by wasting it- you use every part and thank it for its sacrifice. That was a cool thing to do- people should do that now, why do people always pray to god before meals, why not to the animal that died? to the food that was killed and put on a platter before you? so disrespectful to their spirits. anyway i went of track- my thing was passion, right? im no fashion crazed woman- thats for sure- so no real thing there- i do like design but- im not passionate about it. I mean im focusing more on writing- by doing research and trying to become more professional, but i dont think thats enough. I feel- empty now. Lacking, i need something that im passionate about besides things that cannot be defined- like love, and destiny. thats all i really go to- perhaps my thing is to never be defined? perhaps i cannot settle? i think i can do with that- it bothers me though. but i guess i could do with it. no- i dont know. i guess im doing it now- continuing with my scattered nature. i hate myself sometimes- i will find something to drive me- i will. damn it- i wont. oh well...davey havoc is beautiful. i know- men. thats kind of whorish tho- men as a passion? hmm- i guess those undefinable words must do then- love and destiny- how cliche. i feel like such a jackass. im leaving now this is a long enough post to last for a while.
P.S. If i dont really know how to place myself, does that mean that im being true to myself or false? Is it a falsification if im following things arbitrarily? maybe i should quit the whole looking within thing- it seems to be driving me crazy, noi?